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Monologue by Kevin B. Roddy

Roddy, Kevin B.
McNany, Alicia
Childhood adventures
Kevin Roddy talks about getting his truck stuck in the mud.
Charlotte Narrative and Conversation Collection
Collection Description: 
Alicia McNany interviews Charlotteans to collect stories for a class project at UNC Charlotte.
KR (Kenneth Roddy): Everybody thinks I'm like a wuss or a like little girl because I'm always like to be clean, and I always like to, sh-, really weird, and I'm just don't like to be dirty, and I don't like going outdoors much unless I have to because it's windy, [cough] or it's cold, or it's too hot, or it's raining, or it's muddy, or something like that. But I used to not be like that, and I'm probably not like that now because of this one case. And my first car was an old Bronco and my best friend had one exactly like it. And, um, on Sundays after church, every Sunday, for around a year, we would drive down to the mountains in North Carolina when I lived in South Carolina at the time. And we would drive around and find anywhere we could possibly find around that we could take our cars just to get them dirty. Just to drive through the mountains, and just to find trails, mountains we could climb, anything to do. So one day we went and we were just driving around and we found this place, [cough] um, this long road and the road looked pretty weird, so we decided to take it, and we went down the road a couple of miles and it just seemed like an old mountain road, crappy houses, and nobody lived there, no civilization or anything, so we were getting pretty bored but we went to turn round but when we went to turn around [sniff] we saw this steep trail-looking thing, you know, we thought it was, we figured it might be a trail, and it looked really neat. So we parked our cars and we walked a little ways and then we walked up it because we weren't sure if we were going to be able to drive up it because it was really, really steep, and muddy, cause it had been raining, so we started walking and we figured we wouldn't be able to but we'd try it because there was a flat part at the top, that, you know, once we got to the top we could just park, and you know it would be OK, so, we got in our cars and we started driving up it, and we didn't think we were going to make it, but we made it to the top in 4-wheel drive. So we got to the top, we walked a little ways 'cause obviously the trail went up pretty high, all the way up the side of this huge mountain. So we started walking a little ways, we must have walked not quite a mile up the trail, which was hill after hill and deep ridges and ruts and anything you don't want to take your car through. So we took our cars through it, and we went up and around and it's just this trail winding around and then we were really idiots because it was some parts we came to it was just like a cliff, and any which way you turn your wheel or your tires go, I mean you could just basically roll right off the mountain, so you, anywhere that nobody would ever drive on, you know with it being as muddy as it was, so we decided we're going to drive on it. And so we drove over it and we got to the top and we just drove and drove and drove, and the whole time my friend's and my car and our other friends were in the back of his car, and there were a couple of us there, and all the people in my car were screaming at me and hollering at me because they know that I'm not the one they want to be driving. And they could lose their life at any minute by going up the side of a mountain, and you know, really, really deep mud. So we drove and drove going up the side of a mountain in four-wheel drive, wondering when my car was going to break or when I was just going to stop and roll off the side of the mountain and whatever, but we finally got to the top, and we were just at a big, like tree and the trail kind of winded around the tree and then went back down, so, we got out, rested a minute, saw how dirty our cars were and whether or not they were still intact, so [cough] we walked a little ways up through the woods where there wasn't any trails, it was just woods, we probably walked a couple hundred yards, and we could, we turned around and we could see completely off the mountain, you know, and we realized how high we were on the mountain, we could see all the mountains below, and you know the land everywhere, whatever, and um, then we turned around 'cause we thought we heard some water. So we walked, you know, couple hundred more yards a little bit in the woods, and there was this big, huge rock just hundreds and hundreds of feet high. It was just huge, and just a waterfall running down the side of it. It was one of the prettiest things I ever saw, so, we, you know, messed with that little while, and there was more little waterfalls everywhere and just all sorts of just beautiful places that we didn't think anybody had ever really seen up there unless they had driven the trail but I don't think anybody else did, you know, except us, because everyone else is human and we weren't or we wouldn't have done that. And a couple hours passed and then we decided to drive back down before it got dark. And going down was scarier because basically had to ride our brakes and you know, scared of when our cars were just going to, you know, lock up and just slide down the mud, and to, you know, off a cliff or into the road, you know, or way below or whatever. But we finally got down, and though my friends decided that they all needed to go on, you know, head back towards South Carolina, you know, which is, they knew how long it takes to get back because we usually went every weekend. And so they all got in my other friend's car and they decided to go back but me and my friend were going to stay a little longer try to find some other things to do. So we started driving around some more and on our way back we found another little road we should take so we decided to take it, but this was only like 20 minutes from, from our home so it wasn't that bad. We went down the road and we found this little trail and I was kind of hesitant about taking it because it was flat, it wasn't on a mountain but it was still pretty muddy and I thought my car was, you know, muddy enough but it wasn't, so my friend went ahead and persuaded me to take it, so we took it. We're driving a little ways, a couple hundred yards or so and then there was this big, well, it looked like a pond, but it wasn't, it was just a puddle, a big puddle that was really long and just really wide for the mud, but it was basically it probably was a pond and just was very, very small, so a big puddle, small pond, whatnot. [Cough] So I figured well, this means its time to turn around. And my friend said, "No, this means its time to go through it." And I said, "No." I said, "There was no way in hell you know, we could drive through that thing." So he said, "Yeah, there is. Just, all you have to do is just step on the gas and go right through it." So I said, you know, "OK well, we'll try it." So I stomped on the gas and floored it and started going through the mud and it was spinning everywhere because it was muddy. Just flew right through the pond or whatever it was, marsh or whatever. And so, the next thing you know my car is just stopped and it wasn't going anywhere and it started sinking like I was in quicksand. Well, finally the mud was up to the window on the drivers' side. And my car had sunk down that low where basically it looked like, you know, a straw sticking out of a full glass of water [laugh], it was like all you could see was the back tires and the back door sticking out of one big puddle of mud. So I had to climb out the window on the passenger side and get on top of the car in order to get out of the car. But before I did that we tried everything from, you know, stomping on the gas to get out, going easy on the gas, we just couldn't get out. So my friend being the complete idiot he was already decides that he thinks he's, you know, strong enough to push me out, so he pushes and pushes while I had it in reverse and still weren't going anywhere, nothing was happening. So, he, you know, took his shoes off and rolled his pants up and took his shirt off and looked like a complete idiot and walked around and gathered some big boards and sticks he could find, like around the muddy pond area, sat them all behind my tires, like to give me some kind of ramp, and that wasn't working, and in the long run he had, he completely [cough] [sniff] I couldn't tell if he was a black person or white person any more because he had been completely covered in mud from my tires slinging the mud everywhere. So he says, "Well, I guess we're going to have to walk." And I said, "Walk where?" "Well walk to a pay phone or something." But nothing was around. So we walked a little ways, me completely clothed and just a little muddy, but him wearing only pants, completely muddy. So we came by this little house that was there right before a little neighborhood and knocked on the door, and this really old woman, like in her seventies probably, came to the door. And when she saw us of course, she wasn't going to answer the door, and she saw him first and she threatened to call the police. He just wanted to use the phone so she reached her arm out eventually, after we talked to her through the door and handed her the phone, handed him the phone. And I wasn't going to call my dad because you know, if he sees my car as dirty as it was [cough], and then you know, I was going to be in big trouble, and he wasn't going to call his dad because he was out of town. So called our other friend and his dad laughed at us and he wanted to see if it was as bad as we said it was. So he drove out there and when he finally got out there, he laughed because he said it was a whole lot worse than he thought it was and he'd never seen anything that stupid before. So he ended up calling a wrecker service and it came out there and pulled the car out of the mud for me, ended up costing me like, I can't remember now if it was 80 or 280 dollars something along in there and the guy who drove the wrecker laughed at me told me it was the stupidest thing he's ever seen. And then I eventually got my parents and we took pictures, my dad saw the car but then when my dad saw the pictures he said it was the stupidest thing he's ever seen. So now I live in North Carolina but sometimes when I go home we always remember the story, and they always remember me because I did the stupidest thing they had ever done in their lives. And I didn't wash my car for about a month because I wanted to show everybody how deep the mud that I went in because I wanted everybody to know how stupid I was, and so basically, probably because of that, that just whole mud thing and weekend after weekend and week after weekend for about a year and a half of doing nothing but driving through mud and finding deeper and deeper and deeper mud to go through every week, I am probably the cleanest person in the whole world today and I won't go anywhere near mud and I've got mud stains on my carpet now and if I don't get them clean soon I'm going to die because I just don't want mud anywhere around me. So I have plenty of other stories like that but they'd probably take a lot of 15-minute tapes. So that's my story.